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Aug. 11th, 2014

It's also the most hilarious thanks to this gem of a mind-thought from Bella as she finally realizes she loves Jacob:

"His pain had always been and would always be my pain - now his joy was my joy. I felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was somehow also pain."

Sorry. I'm going to need a minute here. I'm laughing so hard that no noise is coming from my mouth. I think the laugh is at such a high pitch that it's upsetting the neighborhood dogs and bats. And now I'm crying with laughter…that is also happiness and somehow also pain, but a pain that is also the joy of happiness mixed with other pain.
Prediction:
Jacob is fighting in the battle. Minutes later, he feels a tap on his shoulder.

EDWARD: Hey Jake.
JACOB: What's up? Is there a problem?
EDWARD: Sort of. Bella wants to talk to you again.
JACOB: But the war…
EDWARD: Yeah, I know. But she's being double-sad. I hate to see her like this.

Jacob and Edward go back to camp.

BELLA: Jacob! I need to talk to you.
JACOB: Are you OK?
BELLA: Yep. I wanted you to know that I like you as a friend.
JACOB: Um…great. Listen, I need to get back to the fight. Quil was just murdered. It's not looking good.
BELLA: [Annoyed] Fine. Whatever.

Jacob leaves. Moments later, Edward taps his shoulder again and takes him back to Bella.

JACOB: This better be important. The bad vampires have Embry and Esme surrounded. Jasper is dead. And Sam had his arm torn off.
BELLA: Do you like corn on the cob, or off the cob? I like corn off the cob. I wanted you to know that.
JACOB: …
BELLA: Because corn on the cob is fun to eat, but then you get all those corn pieces in your teeth.
JACOB: …
BELLA: I like peas. Do you like peas?

Jacob just walks away. He returns to the battle and sees that the bad vampires have slaughtered everyone, including all the citizens of Forks. As he stares at the carnage, a single tear falls from his eye while an evil vampire stabs him in the chest with a broken rusty pipe. Jacob falls to the ground. As he dies, he sees Edward approaching.

JACOB: Help…me…
EDWARD: Bella wants to talk to you.
JACOB: Losing...blood...
EDWARD: I'm not going to carry you. That'd be weird. You'll need to crawl up the mountain.

At the campsite.

BELLA: I think Ben Stiller is a pretty good actor, given the right role. I wanted you to know that.
JACOB: I…hate…you...
BELLA: I hope we can still be friends after you die.
JACOB: …
BELLA: Where does your tail go when you turn back into a human?

Comments

( 1 Die Licked — Lick a Die )
matt1993
Aug. 19th, 2014 12:55 am (UTC)
Lol!
( 1 Die Licked — Lick a Die )

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