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47 Days Earlier | 47 Days Later

Aug. 11th, 2014

Prediction:
After breakfast, Bella and Edward continue to argue.

EDWARD: We can't have nude passion again, Lamb, because it will kill you.
BELLA: No it won't. I'm fine! I'm totally fine!
EDWARD: You don't understand. I lost control last night. I took one of your kidneys.
BELLA: You did what?
EDWARD: I lost control and was overpowered by lust. Stealing your kidney just felt like the right thing to do. You didn't notice because you were in the throes of passion.
BELLA: No biggie. I have another kidney. I'll just hide my second one next time, maybe shove it down to my ankle. Then you can't get it. [TRIES TO MOVE HER REMAINING KIDNEY WITH A ROLLING PIN]
EDWARD: It's still too dangerous. I did more than steal your kidney…
BELLA: What else did you do to me?
EDWARD: Well, in the heat of the moment, I gave you a cavity. A deep one.
BELLA: Really?
EDWARD: [ASHAMED] Yes. I lost control, Bella. This is what I was afraid of.
BELLA: A cavity isn't a huge deal. I can go to the dentist.
EDWARD: But there's more. At about 2 a.m., when you left to get a drink of water, I posted a Facebook picture of you on the toilet. I…I lost control Bella.
BELLA: What?
EDWARD: I knew this would happen. I couldn't control my actions. I was running on pure animal instincts. Overwhelmed with passion, posting that photo just felt right. I'm sorry.
BELLA: That doesn't make sense.
EDWARD: I also wrote, "Fat Chick" on your back with a permanent marker.
BELLA:…
EDWARD: See! I told you it was dangerous. When you're a vampire, things will be different.
BELLA: It's OK. Really. By the way, why are my nostrils glued shut?
EDWARD: It's not my fault, Lamb. It's the passion. Well, the passion and the glue.

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cranthernoddled
47 Muldering Cranthers

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